Trixies Resotulion

15. I will not eat other animals' poop


14. I will not lick my human's face after eating
 animal poop.

13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up
when I'm lying under the coffee table.

12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound
of the can opener.

10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become
 a juried competition in major animal shows.

9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus
; dogs are from Mars.

8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell
 the behinds.

7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat
 on steroids, or they'll flush me!

6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that
 shot every year.

5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry;
 decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.

3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the
 sock.

2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made
by Pets...

1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE
THE IDIOT'S HAND